Are Your Expectations To High? My Confessions

August 15, 2012

Real Mom Stories

Today’s post was written by guest author Michelle Barber.  Michelle is a favorite guest here at All About Cloth Diapers.  I can completely relate to her confessions. Can you?

We all know how we as moms can be…hard on ourselves. I think the most encouragement I receive when reading other Mom’s blogs or emails is when they open up about their struggles and weaknesses and how they find encouragement.

And right now, this is where I am… On a journey of ever evolving discovery of what works and what doesn’t work for me and my family, falling flat on my face many times throughout the day; A journey of finding how to rely on God totally and not on my own abilities and/or inabilities. Also, I’m learning how not to get tripped up by my own weaknesses.

I love how the amplified bible states this:

…for My strength and power are made perfect (fulfilled and completed) and show themselves most effective in [your] weakness. Therefore, I will all the more gladly glory in my weaknesses and infirmities, that the strength and power of Christ (the Messiah) may rest (yes, may pitch a tent over and dwell) upon me! (2 Corinthians 12:9)

So here are my little confessions…

I haven’t used cloth diapers for almost a month now. I know it sounds crazy but I have become so attached to cloth that I just cringe a little inside every time I diaper my son. Well, maybe it’s not so crazy to you all :)

I was just asked this question today, “Are you enjoying your vacation?” I didn’t get it right away…and then it was explained, “You know, from the cloth diapers.”

I hadn’t really thought about it.

“No.” I paused.

I thought about it for a few seconds and said, “Well….no.”

I actually was surprised because with my front loader (which is not fully functioning right now, which is why I still haven’t resumed cloth diapering my son), it has been a huge task to keep my diapers clean. And I still need to tweak my wash routine. I can’t wait to end my un-love affair with disposables as soon as my washer is fixed!

So why did I begin using disposables in the first place?

My one year old developed an infection on his little wee wee. It literally was unnoticeable until a problem was evident. I don’t want to get too graphic, but he began to bleed a little. I was terrified. We took him to the doctors and found that it was a local infection and nothing to do with his kidneys or internally. Praise the Lord!

After taking medicine, using special cream, and putting him in disposables, he was better pretty much instantly! After weeks of watching him extremely close, I know now that the problem wasn’t cloth diapers but wetness would aggravate whatever problem he had.

I still don’t know the cause but our best guess, and as the doctor suggested, is that it was a bacterial infection or a type of fungus.

Although I had stripped my diapers before, or so I thought, I am now beginning a new process of stripping all of my diapers to make sure they are clean and sanitized.

My last little confession is that my little one hasn’t practiced Elimination Communication since he was somewhere around five or six months. I really felt like I failed on this one but the process just became too much for me. EZ absolutely refuses to sit on the potty. This began once he could stand up by himself. He seems to only want to play with the potty, piling all of his little toys in it. So I decided to just take a break.

So that concludes my little confessions, well really they are simply happenings.

Life happens.

I am learning how important it is to receive the grace of God, trusting Him in ALL things. Also, I see the need to let go of my long list of expectations of myself and others. It causes unnecessary and harmful stress.

With all that we as parents do it is so important to remember to do this first…

“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)


I come to you God with every burden and weight that I am carrying, and I give them all to you. I trust you God completely. I know that you have great plans for me and my family. Plans to prosper us, giving us a hope-filled future! Thank you Lord! (from Jeremiah 29:11)

This is my new confession!

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About Michelle Barber

Michelle is a wife and mommy (her dream come true)! Her family is her heart, and she feels that cloth diapering is a product of that love! Michelle finds solace in music, reading, writing, but mostly in her quietly beautiful times with Christ.

View all posts by Michelle Barber

7 Responses to “Are Your Expectations To High? My Confessions”

  1. Emily D Says:

    Perfect post at the perfect time for me! As Flylady says, it was a God-breeze sent to me! I started EC when you first posted here about it, and we were doing wonderfully, but a few months later dd got chicken pox and refused to sit on the potty, and it was not worth it to make tho whole experience a bad one. She’s now 13 months and I’ve been trying again for the past few weeks, but we are more off than on. But, thanks julie for pointing it out, she knows what a potty is for so when she/we are ready to go back it shouldn’t be too bad.
    And I have been using sposies at night for a while now, trying not too but just falls through. On the plus side, I was trying to night-train my 3yr dd with no success, decided to put her in cloth instead (she’d previously been in sposies at night too)- she wet the cloth diaper the first night and has had only one accident in 2 weeks since!


  2. Sarah Says:

    In Singapore where I come from, cloth diapering isn’t a popular choice for moms because of the convenience of disposables and the initial cost of cloth diapers. In my effort to go a little more environmentally friendly, I have stocked up on both Grovia and Softbums and am patiently awaiting the arrival of my little one. I have to confess, I didn’t cloth diaper my first child (she’s now 8), because back then, cloth diapers were primitive. There were also no locally made ones. Now, there are a whole host of different varieties available here. We have Charlie Banana, Grovia and even a locally made brand called “Moo Moo Cow”. I am very encouraged by what you wrote, that in our weakness, God is our strength. I will remember that when I face the challenge in 3 months. :) Thank you.


  3. Rachael Says:

    Yep, don’t stress it. We have reasons for using cloth and reasons for using sposies. So long as you aren’t just defaulting to one or other for now reason than ‘this is how [so-and-so] does it’ Your sanity and the health of your child are far more important than whether you are using cloth or sposies. I have to remind myself of that. I started using my dryer because hanging the diapers out (and any other clothes) was just too much for me right now. That may change, but for now, my sanity is what should be maintained, not some routine of ‘this is how it must be done’.


    • Jen H. Says:

      Amen to that! I am hugely 3rd trimester pregnant and my energy is GONE! Takes everything I have to keep up with my 2 year old. So, on with the dryer it is! I have a stash of sposies too, just in case!


  4. Helen Says:

    Absolutely, life happens! My son was having horrible poop issues – like, far too much, and too soft and just GROSS and so we used disposables for about two weeks while his tummy sorted itself out. My pregnant self just couldn’t deal with those nasty diapers and so we bought a box of diapers. It is what it is!


  5. Shannon Williams Says:

    I think that is so important to realize WE don’t do anything without Him :)

    And don’t feel bad – I can’t stand the thought of EC at all, so we don’t do it. My daughter has shown some interest in going on the toilet, but mostly she just uses her potty seat to look through and sing songs to us :) We just go with the flow lol (no pun intended ;) )


  6. julie Says:

    Don’ t orry about the ec break. My son took a break from 11 months until 20 months. But he then potty trained in 2 months because he knew what the potty was for. We can only do our best. Our kids won’ t remember what kind of diaper they wore. Sounds like you are doing great


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