I’ll Tell You My Dirty Little Secret

May 16, 2011

Cloth Diapers

We’ll get to the secret in just a minute.

Are you like me, when reading blogs you imagine what life is really like for the mom behind the words?

Rarely do we ever get a clear snapshot of what life is really like.

You are in for a treat! I’m going to give you the nitty gritty about Autumn Beck and life as a homeschool mom of 5.

This is me and my family at church this weekend.

The overexposure does wonders for my pasty white legs.

Life with 5 children is pretty much always stressful.  But, remember, not all stress is bad ;)

As I mentioned, I am a homeschool mom.

It’s funny how we choose to identify ourselves.  At other points in my life as mom I identified more with home birth, breastfeeding or cloth diapering.  Before children it was chiropractic.

Homeschooling is the biggest time chunk of my day so it gets top billing.

Do we all sit around the table joyfully and obediently everyday? Yes, for about 30 minutes then the whining and fidgeting begins.

Am I the perfect, never-lose-my-patience mom? Yes. HA! Just kidding. Sadly, I am still working on being gentle and patient when my children opt to walk away from the table as I’m reading to them.

Homeschooling brings many blessings to our family.  I love teaching my children and quite honestly, learning right along with them.  Who knew Roman history was so fun!

But, homeschooling is just one part of my life.

I am a Christ follower and our church family is very dear to me.

We also love to camp…yes, even with babies!

In 2009, my husband sold his chiropractic office and we moved to south Texas.  Why south Texas? Because it’s gorgeous! There is an abundance hills, trees, rivers, state parks, deer…it’s the perfect place for a family that loves the outdoors.

My husband works from home which means we are together as a family 24/7.  We eat every meal together, we run errands together and yes, at times we get on each others’ nerves (although that’s pretty rare).

Like every family, each child is unique and brings a special flavor to the family unit.

My girls are lovable, sweet and love to serve.  They are learning what it means to be a woman of God.  I don’t do the best job at teaching them the skills they need to learn because, well quite frankly, I haven’t mastered most of them!

My oldest, Haley,  is 9 and all she wants to do is read, sew, draw and cook.  Paisley, 4, is going through a transition phase.  Definitely a miss sassy pants right now.  Her crazy, curly hair and big brown eyes spares her the punishment she deserves too often.

My boys. Oh, my boys. They are my weak spot.  Haven is 6, Sterling is 2 and Camden is 4 months.

Haven has grown me as a mother more than any other child.  If I lack patience, God will use Haven to teach me some.  If I lack grace, mercy, gentleness, self-control, joy… yep, Haven will give me an opportunity to learn to choose those over their counterparts.

Sterling is an entertainer, independent and intelligent. Nothing is too hard for him.  Maybe that’s because he’s #4.  Sterling will bring you joy by the love he gives to everyone.  I crack up every time I see him on the potty.  He’s so darn tiny!

Camden is a smiler.  Always smiling for everyone.  Kinda makes it hard to get homeschool done when everyone’s trying to play with the baby.

I’m sure you’re dying to ask “Will you have more children? or Are you done?” I get that question all.the.time.

My response is always the same–I’ll take as many blessings as God will give me.

Now on to the nitty gritty.

What am I really like?

  • I love to give gifts. I love the joy it brings to others. I am always trying to find an excuse to buy someone that one thing they’ve had their eye on.
  • I refuse to work in a nursery. I just can’t take care of other people’s kids.
  • I cry over a lot of things. Things that make no sense to cry over.  I still cry over my dog that died in February (at least once a week).
  • I use paper plates often. It’s not unusual for us to use them for every meal of a day.
  • I sometimes feel guilty asking my children to stop playing and come inside to do chores.
  • It takes me about 10 minutes in the morning to wake up.  I consider that pretty quick.  I don’t stay cranky or sleepy long.
  • If I know a child is doing something they shouldn’t be (like Sterling right now is behind me writing on every page of a stack of post-it-notes) but they’re quiet, I’ll ignore it.
  • I have a hard time showing grace to people who are inconsistent.  Like when they say one thing and the next week they’re doing a variation of the thing they said they hated. Really gets me irritated.
  • I am a people pleaser although I didn’t think I was until I took a quiz that diagnosed me as so.  I just thought my avoiding confrontation, buying gifts for others, smiling and saying “uh huh” and crying when someone I know doesn’t say hi in the grocery store was normal.
  • If it wasn’t for my husband I swear I’d be a 200+ lbs, movie addict, Facebook junkie, never read a book, up to my eyeballs in consumer debt…okay I wouldn’t be that much of a loser but the point is my husband makes me a better woman.  I don’t always appreciate his gentle guidance but in the end he’s pretty much always right.

So, what’s my dirty little secret??

Last week I told my husband I wanted to use disposable diapers (because of the frustrations I was having with Camden getting rashes from Bum Genius).  Healthy ones of course.  He looked up from his computer and said, “Autumn, don’t be dumb. You write a cloth diaper blog and you use cloth diapers for a reason.” *sigh* I told you he was pretty much always right.

That’s not a very dirty secret is it? I’m boring.

I am so grateful to have the readers I do.  You care for each other, you care for me.  You make me smile every time I see a reader answering another reader’s questions.  Thank you!

We’re all imperfect mothers trying to do the best we can with these blessings we’ve been given.  I’ll encourage you along the way and any you throw my way I’ll gladly accept.

Feel free to ask me anything else you’ve always wanted to know!





About Autumn Beck

Autumn is a wife, mother, homeschool teacher, friend and most important a follower of Christ. She began cloth diapering in 2005 and has experienced many joys and trials throughout the years. You can read more from Autumn over at https://www.facebook.com/beautifullyblessedlashes.

View all posts by Autumn Beck

98 Responses to “I’ll Tell You My Dirty Little Secret”

  1. Angela Grady Says:

    I seriously laughed out loud when I read about “leaving a quite child even if they are doing something they shouldn’t be”. I will absolutely do the same thing. Sometimes, I even hope one of the bigger kids or my husband doesn’t see it, because then I feel compelled to do something about it. I love the realness of the comment.


  2. Abigail Morris Says:

    I just read this for the first time, and i was cracking up. I have that kid whom i adore as he teaches me patience. My husband also is my voice of reason and makes me better. I am thankful to have you as a friend Autumn. All the things I find we have in common the many things I am sure we don’t, But I am most thankful to have found another friend who Loves the Lord. I am thankful to have found another sister in Christ. ps, talk to you on FB hahaha


  3. Cassie Says:

    Autumn, I am so thankful I found your blog. (Got a link from Mom’s Milk Boutiques’s facebook page.) I, too, am a breastfeeding, cd’ing, homeschooling SAHM of three wonderful children and hoping God blesses us with more. My hubby has been in ministry for over 12 years and we also live on a fairly tight budget. Thanks to God that He’s always provided and I’m learning to be a better steward of what He’s given us. I only started cd’ing with our 3rd child who is now 4 mo. old. I LOVE IT!!! Wished I’d tried it with our first child… :) Thank you for being so real, and sharing with your readers in wisdom and honesty. I look forward to reading more of your posts!


  4. Lara Bolte Says:

    Hi! This is random, but are you the same Autumn Beck who went to FSU and ws a Chi Omega there? I remember your name but am mortified to admIt that I can’t remember what that Autumn looked like enough to be able to compare my memory with your photo! i was Lara Armstrong back then. Anyway, if so (or If not), hi! Thank you for your blog – I am (perhaps crazily) considering switching to cloth even though my son is 15 months old, and am incredibly daunted by this.


  5. Marti Says:


    Thank you so much for this website and all that you have done to get the word out about cloth diapering. No one I know has ever used cloth diapers and I was (and still am) full of questions and curiosity. Not that this is in anyway a reflection on your fantastic contribution to maternal affairs, but after seeing all the options and even reading your reviews I’m feeling even more overwhelmed. Please understand that I am a newbie! We are expecting our first in December and I am determined to use cloth diapers, but I don’t know where to start. Could someone just point to which ones to get? lol I hate buying peanut butter because there are so many options! Any advice (not that you haven’t already given plenty)?


    • Autumn Beck Says:

      I recommend a newborn cloth diaper rental program if you want a done for you set up ;) Sweetbottoms Baby and Pooters diapers both have programs. Also, diaper trial programs are great for trying out different brands and being able to exchange the ones you don’t like for the ones you do. Diaper Junction (banner in the right sidebar) has a trial program for some popular brands.


  6. Nicole Says:

    All of our ammonia problems were solved by using more detergent. I was skeptical at first, but we haven’t had any problems with build-up or ammonia or any of the things they tell you will happen if you use to much detergent. I use Tide, which I know a lot of people don’t like, but we have insanely hard water and it works for us. I use the amount of detergent that is recommended for the load size. There, that is my dirty little secret. Actually I think it is more of a “clean little secret” since my diapers have never been cleaner and more absorbent :) Love your blog and your honesty. Good luck!


  7. kristin Says:

    Have you figured anything else out about the ammonia rashes? i think my son is getting them also, but i don’t know what to do about it. He started using the bumgenuis 4.0 when we got them for christmas, and was totally fine for the first two months. i stopped using them during my first trimester (cause i would just get so nauseous cleaning them out) and since we’ve started using them again he keeps getting rashes. last night was the first one with blisters though. any advice? Thanks!


  8. DeLise Says:

    Autumn, I thank the Lord for you, for your transparency, and for your commitment. I’m not sure if you saw my response to your comment on my blog, http://www.ourlifememories.com but, you’re right, we do have a ton in common and I’m so happy to have “met” you! Thank you for all that you do!


  9. Jeree B Says:

    I love to hear of more families accepting children as a gift from God. My husband and I have just started on this path with our first little blessing, our 6 month old son. (blogs Raising Olives and Generation Cedar were a major encouragement)
    I read your blog all the time as I started from day 1 (well, maybe day 5 or 6) with cloth diapers. I stuck it out through diaper rash at 2 weeks, then bad repelling of my fuzzibunz and kawiis. Thanks for your blog and the time you invest. Keep it up!!
    > My advice? Flats and covers. Not very fancy for “reviews” and the like, but pretty much hassle free. I use to read comments/blogs of women who said they loved their flats and thought they were crazy- who would use flats in the days of pocket diapers??? until I bought some. Totally changed my mind!


  10. Phabienne Says:

    I so enjoyed reading this! Thanks for sharing about your family! I love getting insights and tips from your blog. It is encouraging to see you use the gift God has given you through this blog. Keep up the great work!


  11. Marcy Says:

    @Jessica–I use cloth wipes all the time, particularly when my little ones have diaper rash. I have a Rubbermaid container with a lid that I put water in & keep in their room since I don’t have any counter space in my bathrooms. I keep a few wipes in there so they are ready when I need them, then refill the water & wipes as needed. I just wash the wipes with my diapers.


  12. Sommer Says:

    That was a wonderful read, it made me a little emotional! I am not a homeschooling mama, but I have considered it. I have two children and our 6 year old girl is such an outgoing, social girl, unlike myself, and I made the decision to have her go to public school because of it. Our little guy is not quite two, and I have had the joy (no really!) of cloth diapering his cute buns, which is how I came across your blog. I really enjoy reading what you have to say, about diapers and about lots of other things. It sounds like you are doing a wonderful job as a mother, and your husband is supportive as well. You and your family look happy! That’s what is really important, I think, being happy and feeling loved. On a side note, as far as cloth diaper rash problems go, I have had them too and for us the best change we made was using two piece diapers–liners laid inside diaper covers, instead of all in ones. I think they just get cleaner. I like gdiapers covers with my own handmade inserts, as well as jamtots berry plush covers and inserts. Keep your awesome blog going and I’ll keep reading :)


  13. Esley Henkes Says:

    I believe every choice we make leads us to the people in our lives that we need for that moment. The choice for me to cloth diaper lead me to stumble upon you and your blog. At this very moment, I needed to hear that I’m not the only imperfect mother doing the best I can. Thank You!


  14. Laura Says:

    Wonderful family! I love hearing about your life. :) Makes me love your blog even more!


  15. Marcela Irvin Says:

    I love how honest you are!!!And I love big families, and homeschooling. Should you ever have time , inspired by reading your blog I have started my own! Check it out and leave comments!


  16. Yara Says:

    I’m using disposable diapers right now. Either Whole Foods brand, or Huggies pure & blah blah whatever that are supposed to be organic (they are soft, at least). We had to move into an apartment building & the washers & dryers here are not good, diapers weren’t getting clean enough & it was costing me an arm & a leg to wash and dry. I can’t even line dry outside, of course. I was afraid all our cloth diapers would have horrible build up, or just be ruined by the dryer (one load smelled like burnt cotton).
    It makes me sad. My son is diaperless a lot, and we are trying to help him use the potty.


  17. georgia Says:

    you have a beautiful family. i grew up in a family of five children with very loving and committed parents, so it is neat to see another similar family in yours. =)


  18. georgia Says:

    reading your honesty brought tears to my eyes… of course, i am only just over four weeks away from delivering my first child, so i am bound to get emotional at just about anything these days. =)

    i don’t always read your blog, but when i get an e-mail notification of a post that sounds worth taking the time to read in my busy schedule, i will take the time to read it. this was one of those posts. i appreciate reading things like this… knowing how it will really be as i embark upon motherhood. everyone tells me how rewarding it will be, and i know it will. but i like to hear the things moms say that show the REAL story of being a mom. it’s not always easy. you lose yourself in your child’s/children’s identities. it’s not always glamorous. it’s often thankless. it changes you. it brings out the realness in you…

    though i plan to do cloth diapering because of a neighbor who REALLY encouraged me to do so and has convinced me of all the reasons it’s a good choice {as has your blog}, i still feel so unprepared and overwhelmed by it. it is the one thing i feel least ready for as the due date of my first child approaches very quickly… june 19th.

    and if money were no object, it would be different. i would have already bought your guide and probably bought about six of every type and brand of cloth diapers out there… then i would just test them all on my child and decide which ones work best. but i am one of those americans who lost my former way of living that i had become very accustomed to… not wealthy, but never wanting… now, we are down to one income {my husband’s} and his hours and pay have been cut at that. it makes “about to becoming a mom” a lot more scary. though i have never cloth diapered, i am very passionate about it. so, even penniless, i plan to give it a try. and you are a big part of the reason for that… so KEEP it up!! you are helping more people than you know. and the benefits are endless.

    though i can not even afford you guide {even when you offered it at a discount}, i still benefit from your blog and updates and appreciate that very much. it’s nice to see a more personal side behind the person bringing us all the diapering expertise. thank you!

    a {tries to be} faithful reader,


  19. Patricia Says:

    Thanks for the honest, heart-warming post. I’ve been considering homeschooling my twins when the time comes. I have those days, well every day, that I look at myself and feel like I came up short for my kids. I’m so glad to hear that even “Super-Moms” feel that way too and realize that all we can do it strive to do better. What really matters is that we care enough to try.


  20. Stephanie Says:

    Thanks for sharing about your life, Autumn! I follow Jesus too and I’m happy to know of another sister. What a journey…I’m a first time mom trying to figure out how to train up my strong willed almost 2 year old. The funny thing is…he absolutely hates diaper changes! Fights me tooth and nail every time. He doesn’t appreciate all my hard work and tireless diaper research one bit. :)


  21. Nikki Says:

    Oh, and I forgot to mention that I gave birth to my last baby at home at 41 years old! It was initially a financial decision, but ultimately my preference!


  22. Nikki Crespo Says:


    I love reading your blog and especially loved hearing about you and your life! I appreciate your honesty and realness, we all need to know that there are others out there that wanna do our best, but often fall short. Your kids are beautiful! I have 2 amazing girls (Kira is 6, almost 7 and Claire Elyse is 3 1/2 months old). We also homeschool and my hubby works at home.


  23. Yvonne Says:

    oh honey, I’ve been debating about supplementing breastfeeding with formula for the past few weeks and driving myself crazy because I just can’t do it…not the same dilemma but I completely understand how you feel, sometimes it just feels so overwhelming but then someone says something that puts it all back in perspective and you realize you can hang in there and make it :)


  24. Heidi Says:

    What a cute honest essay…I love your writings, Autumn! Though I still think you are a mother out of the book it feels good to read that every mother struggles from time to time with the daily little dirty things: exactly this morning, when I had to scrape the pasty stinky poop off my 18months old “big baby” I thought I am done with cloth, why do I do that to myself?…but then, I am a SAHM but used to be a Business Manager (still am, somehow) and would have invested all for nothing into cloth…so I am stuck as well


  25. Julia Says:

    Hi Autumn,
    I have followed your blog for quite a while now and have learned a lot of helpful things about cloth diapering from you. My life is quite a bit different from yours but I think we also have a lot in common. I have just one little one and have nursed him exclusively and used cloth diapers on him, while trying to finish my law degree. It has been a challenge to figure them out while being so limited on time and energy. I imagine that you feel the same way. In light of that, it is okay to look for alternatives that work for you and your family. You will not have helped any of us any less. I wanted to do home birth and I wanted to wear my baby. My husband insisted that I go to the hospital so instead I made my all-natural birth plan ready and discussed it with my doctor. I still hate hospitals to this day but I am grateful I was there because of the problems I had and because the doctors ended up saving my son’s life. After that he was in the NICU uncovered so he could be observed for seizures, after which he didn’t want to be swaddled, much less worn. That was kind of a paradigm shift for me. Basically the point is that life throws a lot of curve balls and we just have to adapt and pool our resources. I am sure you will figure things out but please don’t feel bad for using whatever resources are available to you.

    I also do an obscure blog about sewing cloth diapers. Here is a link to a short bit on fitted diapers : http://myclothdiaperworld.blogspot.com/2011/05/fitted-or-fancy.html
    I don’t know if it will help your son at all but I really am gaining a new found love for fitted diapers and maybe they could help your little boy. Best of luck and thanks for all your help!



    • Autumn Beck Says:

      Yikes! I hope I didn’t come off as feeling bad. Camden’s rash has gone away now that his stash of Fuzzi Bunz and Charlie Banana diapers is here.

      I was in chiropractic school when Haley was born and after a couple of weeks of trying to take her to classes with me I was done. My heart wasn’t there…unfortunately the loans still were :) I pray you are able to finish Law school with ease and success!


      • Julia Says:

        LOL! I hear you about the student loans. I just graduated last week but it has and still feels like an uphill battle. I’m glad your little boy’s rash cleared up! Thanks again for all your help!



  26. Jack Be Natural Says:

    Thanks for being so genuine, Autumn! :o) I think we’ve all been there! A lot of our customers have been telling us how much they have learned from your blog! We appreciate all you do to educate other mamas about the benefits of cloth diapering…even when you yourself get frustrated sometimes w/ it! :o) God bless.


  27. Jessica Says:

    I wanted to thank all of you who posted helpful tips for me and for all the encouraging words. With the pregnancy hormones, nervousness about giving birth, finances, CD worries, and busy schedule I think I have just been over whelmed. When I read this blog that Autumn posted, I felt compelled to write, because I felt Autumn being so real, open, and upfront and I just needed to be open and expose my heart.
    I’m going to take all of your suggestions & love with me.
    Thanks again,


  28. Joanna Says:

    I am a homeschooling, homebirthing mom of 6 (and one on the way, Shhh, we just found out). We cloth diapered our kids from the start. If you are on a STRICT budget, think out side the box. Grab some flannel sheets at a thrift store, cut and hem them, and you have awsome flats. Our older kids all used flats and the Gerber plastic pants. No they are not cutesy, but they are cheap and work. Or check out Katrina’s blog http://katrinassqs.blogspot.com/2007/10/free-soaker-pattern.html for free patterns for sewing fleece or wool soakers. Thick fleece sweaters work GREAT for these, and they are super easy to care for! Just wash as for normal clothes. For the mama with the terrible rash on her baby, I second laying natural fiber inserts in your diapers. It might make a difference. Autumn, love your blog, sounds like we have a lot in common!


  29. Brandy Says:

    Autumn, this is your best post!! We have so much in common! I have studied and wanted a homebirth for five years….but had all four of my babies in the hospital. I pray that God will bless me with many more children, and that they will be safely born at home where they belong.


  30. Rachel Zylstra Says:

    Beautiful post. Thank God he provides us with wonderful husbands (and them with wonderful wives) to keep us moving forward.

    As for the rash, try the mother-ease stay dry. Either the doublers of just the liners. Sounds crazy but it was the only stay dry I could use with my son and I have since discovered that other customers and employees with babes with extremely sensitive skin have had the same experience.

    Thanks for the blog and best wishes!


  31. Jess Says:

    Not a homeschooler, not a homebirther, not part of a church community, not a people-pleaser. But I really connected with the sadness over your dog. It certainly isn’t silly to shed a tear at his memory.
    I, too, cry about my last dog – and he died in 2007. They have a way of touching your life just by being your companion. But what is also so sad to me sometimes is that dogs bear witness to a small period of your life, relatively speaking. And so when you think back to the monumental things that happened during that dog’s short life – in our case, 7 years – I’m brought to tears, thinking how those times are gone, and that he is gone, too. I will be a hot mess when our current dog goes – many years from now, I hope – because he will forever remind me of buying my first house, bringing my newborn twins home, and being my refuge from the loneliness that sometimes accompanies (oddly) the chaos of being a mom.
    May your dog RIP.


  32. Cathy Says:

    Thanks so much, Autumn. Our (reasonable) success at cloth diapering is largely due to you! So you know something about one of your readers:
    • Rebecca is my first, born in March, a big fan of Rumparooz
    • four stepsons, ages 18, 15, 12 and 10 (so I sort of have five!)
    • age 40, and as much as I’d like to have five of my own, it’s probably not going to happen. We’re hoping for one more :-)
    • I’m a part-time pastor at a truly wonderful church, hoping to homeschool, even if my family thinks I’m crazy to do it
    • grateful for your generosity of time, talent and treasure


  33. Dematrice Says:

    I was wondering what type of diaper does Camden have on in the picture? I have been trying to get an idea of how the baby’s clothes fit with a cloth diaper on up under them. In my mind I have this idea that the diaper is going to be super bulky. Your picture shows something different and kind of puts my mind at ease.

    I really enjoy your blog it is very informative. My baby is 8 yrs old. I am planning to have another baby. I really want to cd. So at this point I’m just trying to soak up as much info as possible.

    Good job on being informative.


  34. Alison Says:

    I had open sore and bacterial infection issues that led me to give up cloth after 2.5 years with my son :( I blame my washer for not adequately sanitizing my diapers and at his age didn’t see the point in going to great lengths to change it out. Can I suggest maybe sending your stash out to a diapers service for a proper sanitizing? It may or may not help but if a bacterial infection is surviving on your diapers it might just be the thing! If you are using an AI2 system or prefolds you might get away with boiling your inner fluff at home too to kill off any yuckies. My washer was a front loader and in my house it can take quite a bit of time for the hot water to come through the pipes…I suspect by the time it actually did come through hot my washer had already drawn in most of the water for the load and it wasn’t hot enough to effectively sanitize everything…Just a thought! :)


  35. Rema Says:

    I’ve had some issues with rash with my LO when I use AIO’s. Pockets even… I mostly use cheap prefolds (they are more breatheable than the nice ones) with light covers (fleece, wool, or dappi cause they are more breathable than the all out plastic covers) and a fleece/micrifiber doubler I’ve made myself (modeled after G-diaper inserts, but probably not as thick) and i have less problems. They wash cleaner and allow for more air circulation… the fleece helps baby feel dry, too. I know thats an issue with sterling. At daycare, he still uses pockets and AIO’s, but at home, I use the prefolds and doubler, and I send him there with one on, and the rash has stopped for the most part.


  36. Stephanie G Says:

    You don’t sound boring to me! I love reading your blog & enjoy the Cloth Diapering information you provide! At the same time, I’m about to finish my SECOND 36 count pack of Disposable diapers! My son had an awful yeast rash & we are on the 2nd week of not being able to fully kick it. I can’t afford to keep stripping my diapers (the whole vinegar routine) to get rid of the yeast, so we are using sposies (and none of my beloved woolies!) until his bottom is clear. There is a time & a place for everything & if you are feeling burn-out with your cloth, taking a “one pack” break won’t disappoint me!


  37. Aleisha Says:

    Have you ever tried gdiapers? That’s all I use and have been using for over a year. I’m perfectly happy with them, and I am only asking because I’ve never heard them mentioned yet on your blog. (Well, I guess I should say I use their covers, I use gerber prefolds as the inserts). Maybe you have, and I’ve missed it… just wondering if you have an opinion on them.


  38. linz Says:

    Thank you so much for your blog! I’ve been CDing for the last 4 months and have thought about giving up a few times. Every time I’ve thought about it I get an email that you’ve posted a new blog. God really is using you and your blog to encourage people to be good stewards. :) Thank you!


    • Cyndel J Says:

      Ah Linz this is exactly why I decided to cloth diapering my newborn and have cloth diapered him from diaper #1, 5 days ago (btw…I love it!!!, even with an energetic older brother who is leaving toddlerdom and working his way into a preschooler it has been easy). CDing is one of the few ways right now I can be a good steward to this beautiful planet God gave into our keeping.


  39. Jill Says:

    obviously, you love your kids. how do you deal with the terrible 2s? especially with another child? We waited a long time to have kids, and love our girl desperately, and my hubby wants a lot more, but I’m concerned about how far to spread them apart (2.5 year old / pregnant due in Aug right now.) Unless my VBAC goes desperately wrong or something else happens, we’ll probably have at least one more–but if we want 2 and to keep it under 35 we’ll really have to stack them close. How is that, as you have a 4 and 2 year old so they’re around 2 years apart?


    • Cathy Says:

      Hi Jill,
      Having had my first at 40, I would encourage you not to worry too much about having all your kids by 35. I, too, would like to have had all my kids by 35, but it didn’t work out that way. Yet my daughter is precious and I’d rather have her at 40 than not have her at all. I say, have as many kids as you want, whenever they come, and if you are over 35, so be it!


    • Emily D Says:

      Hi Jill,
      I have 4 and 2 yr old girls (they’re actually 23 months apart) and am due with my third baby in a month (27 months apart). I found that having them that close was great, the older was not a baby anymore- you know how they start to want to do everything themselves! – but still young enough that there was no jealousy. I’v noticed with some of my friends who had a larger spread (3 or 4 years) that the older child really reacted poorly, lots of regressing. And while my oldest is VERY active, so it definately could get busy, my carrier absolutely saved me! It’s not too hard to keep up with a toddler if the baby is strapped to you! (And I had 2 large dogs- so yes I got “you must be busy” a. lot.)
      Good luck with your VBAC, my sister is trying as well, due today!


  40. Carnley Proud Says:

    What a great post!! What I got from it is, that no matter if we cloth diaper, wear our babies, co-sleep, breastfeed, etc… we are all still imperfect moms!! We all lose our patience, ignore bad behaviors, let our kids watch too much TV, etc… Each one of us makes mistakes!! But, we are all the moms that GOD meant for our children to have and deep down we know what is best for our children!


  41. Sarah Says:

    Just a suggestion, but if you have tried everything, every suggestion that is out for your diapers that would help clear up the diaper rash, maybe it isn’t the diapers. Could your little one, or anyone else who said their little ones are having a similar problem, have a yeast infection causing the diaper rash? Those get missed by a lot of parents. Not sure if you have looked into this, but if not, you may want to. Anyway, just thought I’d suggest it. Love reading your posts. :)


  42. Linda Hawes Says:

    Thanks for sharing Autumn. :) I love reading your blog!


  43. Tiffany Seale Says:

    Thank you for sharing, Autumn! I am a faithful follower for almost a year. I don’t comment on every post, but I feel compelled to comment on this one.
    #1–Thanks for sharing your life and your family with your readers. It makes US feel special that you are willing to do that.
    #2–NO ONE SHOULD EVER USE SPOSIES! Have you read about the chemicals in those things? Did you know that those little beads are the same chemicals that were removed from Tampon production because that is what caused TSS yet they still allow it in diapers??!! And that is just one of MANY chemicals. And can we say 200-500 years to decompose? Every diaper that has ever been manufactured is sitting in a landfill! We should all be urging other moms to change to cloth, not doubting our usage of them!
    #3–for those having trouble, I am so sorry. I love my RnG. BUT there are other great detergents out there too! I love crunchy clean, ruby moon, and clean b. I have seen on message boards that people are using purex or tide, and this just makes me crawl in my skin. ITS CHEMICALS!!!! I don’t follow the rules with the RnG. I used the ol’ trial and error. Works every time. We spent two weeks with stinkies and finally realized, we needed just one more scoop and one more rinse. Now, we are doing great!
    #4–no offense to anyone out there, but why are so many of you stuck on ‘brand name’ diapers? Honestly, my BGs are NOT my go-to diapers. Now, my flip covers I do like. Esp if we are ‘on the go’ because they fit my LO great, I can throw any liner in there that is ‘safe next to skin’ and then we just wipe out with a cloth wipe and throw another one in unless she’s pooped. My stash is mostly Kawaii because they are an inexpensive diaper. I don’t like that they are made in china, but I deal with it knowing its better than the alternative of (i don’t even wanna say) sposies. My Kawaiis are my go to diapers. I also have some tweedle bugs but we get wing droop with those sometimes. I have some WAHM diapers coming my way as well. There are lots of moms that make good quality diapers and offer them at an affordable cost. I just recently purchased 4 for $56 with free shipping (and that is a big one since I’m in Alaska). Most moms also use better fabrics than what the commercial diapers are made of, thus giving you an almost BETTER QUALITY diaper.
    AND LASTLY–I would encourage those who are having issues to try out a few options. A) try signing up for a diaper service close to you. Even if just for a few weeks. You’d be surprised. I’ve heard nationwide reports of moms being overjoyous that after just one week of the diaper service, their diapers have never worked better. My theory: diaper fabrics are just like our hair or skin: sometimes just changing what you are doing/product you are using revitalizes and then when you go back to it, it seems to work better. B) try using disposable/biodegradeable inserts for a while. It’d be like using (cringe) sposies but without the chemicals. There are a few companies you can get these from. We were able to go a whole week on vacation, without being able to wash, and without buying sposies. We used these inserts with covers and just washed the covers with us in the shower each night and let them hang dry until morning.
    I sincerely hope no one takes offense to this post. I apologize for it being long. I hope it helps a few of you as well.
    Oh and Autumn.. I LOVE YOU gal!


  44. Amanda Says:

    I love reading your blog. I also am a homeschooling mom of almost 4 kiddos. I too cloth diaper, but my hubby does not work from home. I am a geographical single mom every other year while he is in the Middle East. I love that you are so real in your blogs. It makes me feel more “normal.”
    When people say they cant afford cloth diapers i tell them to get a jar and put a quarter in the jar (or how ever much each diaper cost depending on the brand) at each diaper change and add up how much you have thrown away at the end of a month. I have converted at least 5 moms this way.


  45. Stephanie Says:


    I found Autumn’s blog just two months ago when I decided that we have to go cloth because in June we will have three under the age of three-and all in diapers because the almost three year old is only partially potty trained. I am on bedrest so we will start cloth after the new baby comes because my husband is having a hard enough time keeping up with the regular laundry for our family of six…..Start with prefolds, snappis and some covers, while you slowly build your stash from all the other suggestions already mentioned.
    My husband is more gung ho about the prefolds than I am…I was/am kind of nervous about them at times, but I had a lot of people that I didn’t even know cloth diapered via facebook encourage me to go this route when I “liked” http://www.re-diaper.com and http://www.clothdiaperoutlet.com. (Even on bedrest I don’t have enough time to make 40 posts so that I can get “permission” to sell the used cloth diapers that I bought before finding this awesome blog that don’t fit my tiny 20 month old on the cloth diaper swap groups. I have the two toddlers to look after from my bed/couch and two older kids to homeschool.)

    You never know you may become one of the “prefold groupies”-you may love that type so much that you don’t even need to slowly build a stash of the other kind. Also, the re-diaper site has a donation link for an organization that donates cloth diapers to those who are in need….you might want to see what you need to do to qualify for that program.

    I got second prefolds off of http://www.greenmountaindiapers.com-they were “seconds” because some of the seam stitching was coming out-and so cheap! I got enough to cd my youngest two for less than what it would cost me to do disposable diapers for just a couple of weeks.

    God bless your growing family and your full time ministries!

    Awesome post Autumn-it was great to learn more about your family!

    God’s blessings to you and your family as well!,


  46. Lauren Says:

    I have the same dirty secret although I don’t write a blog! lol I don’t know what to do at this point between rocking a soak of EVERYTHING in the world… I feel like my diapers are junk and I don’t want to toss em but I am at the point I feel like I might have to… my 15 month old has OPEN sores…. I mean I have been really fighting this! It starts as a diaper rash and then escalates so fast I can’t even help her… I have sposied her before till I get it cleared but the spouses have their own problems with her skin it’s a double edged sword! I am angry and frustrated…. Tide, tea tree oil (works for about 2 washes and then I have to do it again), RNG (sucks, I must be the only one in the world to think this but it is what caused the issue in the first place, and I am a rule follower so I followed the directions… NO GO) Dawn dish soap… I mean I have really tried everything. Tea tree oil is the only thing that helps but not for long… although I have realized that natural fibers are easier to control, so I am trying to convert to that but I just don’t have the money to drop… It’s not fun here!


    • Maghan Says:

      It sounds like you might have a yeast problem. I did with my daughter and she had the same thing. I actually had to put her in disposables until she had completely cleared up and bleached the cloth in HOT HOT water in my bath tub. I used color safe bleach though for I use Fuzzi Bunz one size and they are pink and purple. It sucks having this issue, I know first hand. I hope you don’t loose faith and keep on trying. I did and she is all better now!


    • Rachel Zylstra Says:

      so sorry, you’re not alone!
      Here are a couple of ideas. Assuming you use pocket diapers, the cheapest thing to change would be to buy flat diapers to use as inserts. Because they are one layer thick (and then you fold them up), they always come clean! Stuff them in the pocket or just lay them on top.

      More costly would be switch to natural diapers and wool. I had the same problems with my son and this was one thing that helped. Like I told Autumn too, the ONLY stay dry fabric that he could tolerate was the Mother-ease and I know several other people who have problems with all stay dry except the motherease (its more of a ployester mesh).
      Hope that helps some!


    • Jill Says:

      I agree with Rachel here. Try a couple of flats or prefolds and see if that helps.
      RnG didn’t work for us, either, no matter what water type or formula we used. Have you tried an extra rinse with Tide or using free and clear tide? Might be worth a shot. Good luck


  47. Lenae Says:

    I really enjoyed hearing that you’re a real person, lol. That sounds silly, but it is so easy to ignore that there are real people behind the internet, with struggles and joys. Triumphs and adversity. Thank you so much for sharing! God bless you and keep you!


  48. river Says:

    Love your blog, cloth is great, have had 3 babies all born at home, all having used cloth diapers…..i just dont buy disposables so they are not an option in my world….
    i do find it funny how you use paper plates though….do you re-use them?
    we are homelearners as well, what a wonderful journey….blessings


    • Autumn Beck Says:

      It’s terrible, I know. There are days when I just don’t want to wash another dish.


      • Cassie Says:

        LOL! I’m with you Autumn… at least paper will break down. I call styrofoam plates “earth eaters.” My in-laws brought some to our house for Sunday dinners and I can’t hardly stand to use them. *super cringe* There are days I’d just rather toss the dirty dishes out in the yard instead of washing them. I’d take laundry any time over dishes. Thank God I have a hubby who doesn’t mind doing dishes or laundry. How blessed am I?!?! :)


  49. Amanda Says:

    What does your dh do from home that’s related to chiropractic?


  50. crystal Says:

    you said you were a homebirther.
    what made you a fan of homebirthing?
    did you birth all of your children at home?
    was your hubby on board with homebirthing and if not how did you get him to be?
    were you nervous about complications?
    did you ever HAVE complications that made you have the baby in the hospital?
    lol can you tell im contemplating homebirth?! thats my dirty little secret taht i let my hubby in on last week and he cringed and said”dont think so”…so im working on him before baby #2. planting seeds. first baby was in hospital and was a horrible experience that i never want to repeat so allow me to pick your brain on this subject! and if there are any questions i didnt ask ,or advice you feel the need to share OVER AND ABOVE what ive asked, then please do!!
    ps i love your blog. i am a cloth addict and found you by chance. i have sonverted 3 others and everyone who is on the fence i give them the 411 which includes your site. thank you for all of your help!!


    • Autumn Beck Says:

      Crystal, I knew I wanted to have my babies at home after reading a magazine article in 2001 or 2 by Cindy Crawford. I remember saying “if she can have her babies at home so can I.”

      I had the first 3 at home without any problems. #4 was a difficult tilted face presentation and after 4+ hours of pushing at home we transferred. He ended up having to be helped out with the vacuum. It was literally the best scenario you can have being a homebirth transfer. Praise God we were in Kerrville and not Denton (where we were before we moved).

      Camden was a successful homebirth and I truly felt redeemed!
      I’d encourage your husband to read stories on his own. And ask him questions for him to answer and investigate. Encourage him to do the looking.


      • Katy Says:


        Your blog has been extremely helpful as I navigate cloth diapering my first child. It was fun to get a picture of who you are outside of this blog and I love meeting another homebirth family, thanks for sharing!


      • crystal Says:

        Thank u for sharing and Ur honesty.I’m thinkin that God knows best and will continue to trust that He will change hubbys mind.last night he said he’d start reading up and isn’t completely closed to the idea.:..(squeal) Yippee! Thanks autumn!


  51. Beth @ Sweetbottoms Says:

    *Loved* this!! Thanks so much for sharing with us! What a gorgeous family… P.S. I ignore “naughty” behavior if they’re being quiet, too. The quiet is so worth a pack of post-it notes! ;)


  52. Dinika Says:

    I am so blessed but this blog and this post! I don’t know you but as a sister in Christ, God is teaching me many of the same things! Fight hard and hold fast :)

    P.S. I am still on the cloth roller coaster – seventh gen, cloth, seventh gen, cloth One day something will stick!


  53. Kristy Says:

    Thank You Autumn, I love your honesty! I think I’m a lot like you and it helps to know that I’m not the only imperfect follower of Christ trying hard everyday to teach my children the ways of the Lord!


  54. Daphne Boyd Says:

    Hi Autumn! I have been reading your blog since my baby was born (Jan. 2011) and I have never responded to anything and quite honestly had never tried a cloth diaper until this past weekend (May 2011). I mainly signed up for your email/blog posts so that I could learn more about cloth diapering and used it heavily as my source of information when deciding which cloth diapers to try. (I tried an AIO Bum Genius, an AI2 GroVia, & a pocket diaper Bum Genius 4.0 w/ the AIO & AI2 being my favorites).

    What prompted my response to your blog today was your statement, “Are you like me, when reading blogs you imagine what life is really like for the mom behind the words?” And then you proceded to give us a snapshot of your family life. I really appreciate that simply because I am a homeschool, homebirth, breastfeeding & all things natural junkie who also lives in So.Texas and I strive everyday to be the Mom and wife that God called me to be. It is nice to know that I am not alone :o) Your family is beautiful. Thank you for sharing.


  55. Jennifer Says:

    Thanks for posting! Love your blog BTW! It’s refreshing to hear about personal life every once and a while, helps to connect more. Anyways, thanks again! =)


  56. jessica Says:

    Pss. Beautiful dress, and beautiful family by the way!


  57. Jessica Says:

    Have you ever used a disposable? I’m 4 weeks from DD and none of my friends or family have bought me cloth diapers from my registry that I took so long to put together. I feel guilty saying this because I’m so set on CD,but I started putting the sample huggies they give u in those little bags full of samples,in my babys diaper bag. We both are in full time ministry abd are living paycheck to pay check and we just can’t afford a CD stash. It honestly breaks my heart because I want the best for our little baby boy when he arrives. I have been reading everything I can though. Your book,and also I was desperate enough to read hings online about using household items as inserts and such. I saw the dappis for covers but I keep reading abt legs being too large for newborns and all the leaks. Does God not want me to cloth diaper,which I doubt,or is he just tsting me to see how much I’m relying on him. Autumn,I need your encouragement.
    Ps. Sorry for the long post.


    • Autumn Beck Says:

      Jessica, I can help you cloth diaper your newborn. If you pay for shipping I’ll loan you what newborn cloth diapers I have left. When you’re done I’ll pay the shipping back. If you received this blog post via email reply back to it and send me your address.


    • crystal Says:

      i do find myself smiling when people say that they cant afford cloth diapering and thats why they use disposables….once you see how much youre spending on throw aways i think you will gasp and be quite surprised to find cloth is beyond affordable. i bought all of mine from craigslist and ebay…. for pennies–just an example, kawaii is 5 dollars a dipe BRANDNEW…. prefolds..dirt cheap…. wool.buy one and use for weeks—- im tellin ya-once that lil gorgeous stinky butt is here and going through 12+ dipes a day you will be like “what the…?!heck no, its cloth time!!” lol
      good luck to you and thats awesome that you would do that autumn!!! God has just answered your prayers jess:) ps congratulations on the baby! and good for you for looking into cloth!!


      • crystal Says:

        ps…jessica i know autumn will gasp at this….but purex free and clear has worked phenomenally on my dipes for the past 7 months and it is DIIIIRT CHEEEAP to buy. you only use a tablespoon every wash. cant beat it. everyone else complains of smells, ammonia burns, rashes,etc from the expensive stuff but i havent had any of those complaints yet.ive stripped only twice and not bc i needed to but bc i thought i prob should. i have used bleach twice just because i thought i should get the germs off of my cloth wipes. just an fyi especially since you (like myself and many others) are worried about money
        take back one or more of those disposable diaper packages to babies r us and get yourself a lionheart wipe warmer with the bamboo cloth wipes-THAT IS WORTH ITS WEIGHT IN GOLD on a newborn especially! to change the diaper and not wake baby with cold wipes(with chemicals that will give a rash)?! …priceless


    • Eanista Says:

      I am in a similar situation, hubby lost job when I was 7 mos. pregnant, but I looked on ebay and found some for $5 – $6 with free shipping. They were one size pockets. I have ordered like 2 at a time, since $10 – $12 at a time seems more reasonable. They are from China, but so far I have not had any problems. If you want the link to the specific diapers, I can post the link. Praying fo God’s provision for you and your family.


    • saph @ frugal wife blog Says:

      I built my stash through craigslist and buying used from people online through Facebook cloth diaper discussion groups. God also provided through blog contests. I’ve won 8 diapers from entering contests. The cheapest diapers are prefolds and covers!


    • Jenni Says:

      You can put in a search for making your own diapers from folding t-shirts and covers from little fleece blankets. Receiving blankets make great flat diapers. Cheep baby wash rags are great cloth wipes, or you can cut up t-shirts. T-shirts and fleece wont fray. Consigenment stores are great places to find t’s and receiving blankets cheep. I just bought fleece at walmart for $3 a yard. They had some for $2 a yard. Gonna try making fleece night time trainers for 2yr old (just in case), and wraps for 1yr old. Then I will attempt to start making little bitty ones for baby coming in January. Dappi wraps are ok if you have nothing else, you just have to stay on top of changes. They wick. I hope this helps.


      • Courtney Says:

        Thank you for your work in ministry. My husband is a full time minister and I’m a SAHM. I know the hardships financially that the ministry puts on those who are called to it. I have to say, if it weren’t for cloth diapers, I don’t know how we would meet the rest of our expenses each month. We too, live paycheck to paycheck, and if I hadn’t decided to cloth diaper, we wouldn’t be able to afford to diaper our baby. know it is a large up front investment, but for us, diapering a baby in sposies for a month cost us $80. When we thought about how many one size diapers that could buy, we knew we had to switch. Don’t feel guilty about using the samples you’ve gotten, they’re made, if you don’t use them, they’ll still go in the garbage sooner or later. I’ll be praying for you and your ministry. Many blessings to you as you prepare for the arrival of your baby.


    • Maria Says:

      Breathe mama! Hang in there! We are in a tight money situation(not as bad as it could be, but most definitely could be better) and I make it work. Mostly because of money. Cloth is SO cheap compared to sposies, if you do it right. Heck, its cheap even if you spend a bit more once you become a cloth addict! Example: Green Mountain diapers has sales on prefold seconds pretty regularly. 24-30 of those and you are set :) my 4 month old girl is still in her yellow edge, with at least another 2 months to go! make your own wipes! Use diaper solution cubes; the brand I’m using will probably last 6 months. If you are a knitter, there is a great pattern called Curly Purly that you can use to make wool diaper covers. I use Debbie Bliss: Full o’ Sheep – 2 skeins can make a md cover which works out being just under $10!

      For us, paying for sposies every week wouldnt be an option. We live paycheck to paycheck, and I’m still struggling to pay off hospital bills from when my girl was born. I love how I haven’t bought diapers for over a month. I love not worrying about making a decision to not buy something so we can afford diapers. And I love folding laundry <3


    • Marcy Says:

      I started my CD stash with nothing but prefolds and covers, and most of those were ones my mom had from when I was a baby or that my SIL used with her 2 kids. I didn’t get any of the “fancy” ones until I found the Cloth Diaper Foundation and was able to get 12 diapers for each of my 3 kids (I have a 2 1/2 year old daughter and twin 14 month old boys). You never know what you are going to get from them, but I was blessed to get a total of 36 brand new Blueberry All-in-Ones for my kids. That’s what it took to get my hubby to at least agree to change the CDs, though he won’t rinse them out! I was able to take a lot of my disposable diapers back and use them as store credit. I used some of that credit to get some new prefolds (Gerber) and plastic pants (also Gerber). I know they’re not the best, but it’s all I can afford. I have a couple of pages on Facebook I’m a fan of where people post diapers that are free for shipping or even completely free for those who need them. I don’t have any newborn size diapers I could send you, as I just used prefolds with them.


    • Brittany Says:

      Hang in there Momma. I just wanted to tell you about Econobum diapers. They are a prefold and cover system made by Cotton Babies. They have a package to diaper full time and it’s very reasonable. We have been CDing for almost 6 months and I have recently switched to prefolds and covers (didn’t make my hubby too happy since I have already spent so much on pockets and AIOs) and I’ve tried this brand. I love them and it’s a very cheap way to diaper. We are also paycheck to paycheck and I would reccomend this package. Hope this helps :)


  58. Mandy Says:

    Thanks for this post, Autumn! I’m expecting my first child at the end of June, and I’ve found SO much great CD and other parenting insight and information through your blog. Thanks for your honesty, openness, and for all of your help!


  59. Ruth Says:

    That was totally real! I am a homeschooling mom of 6 and I could have written something very similar to this (except I’ve never been cool enough to do a blog). :) Hang in there! Blessings to you and your crew!


Leave a Reply

Pin It on Pinterest

Sharing is caring!